True Happiness
by SweetestReject
Summary: COMPLETE! What's behind those doors in the Shadowland? FOR FANS OF JS!


**Title:** True Happiness  
  
**Rating:** PG-13 for (insert gasp here) Charactor DEATH (I know, I suck)  
  
**Summary:** What's behind those doors in the Shadowland, anyways?  
  
**Note:** This is in Suze's POV and is a one-shot.  
  
  
  
Blackness...  
  
I was sitting- literally- on the floor of the shadowland. Who knew there was actually a floor? I mean, yes, we always walked on it, but I didn't know it was an actual wood-type floor.  
  
I stopped being mesmerized by this fact and held my head in my hands. I must have accidentally shifted here, but when? And why? Well, duh, accident, probably not a clear reason 'Why' right now. I just decided to shift back to my body.  
  
AND IT DIDN'T WORK!  
  
Oh, sure, I got back to Earth. That went just dandy.  
  
But I ended up, in GHOST form, standing over my body.  
  
Well, what was left of it anyways.  
  
And, then, the string of memories came rushing back...  
  
A fight...another one...between Jesse and Paul...this time, over my shifter lessons. Jesse had accompyied me to them, invisibly, to help if anything should happen. I doubted anything would, but he wanted to go, and who was I to say no?  
  
But I should have.  
  
I definitely should have!  
  
I never should have doubted Paul's intentions. Nope...One minute, we're on the couch, discussing shifter powers and all that jazz, and the next, he like, launched himself at me, and started kissing my neck! "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I screamed, pushing him off of me.  
  
"Suze, I'm tired of playing around. I want you, you want me." Paul said, panting a little. "So let's cut the games, and be together."  
  
"You're forgetting one thing. I LOVE JESSE!" Oh shit, I just said that out loud, and forgot Jesse was here! Oh well, bigger problems to deal with...Like, the fact that Paul has just risen from the couch, like I did, and is now crossing to the other side of the coffee table, where I am, and is wearing that "I'm hungry, but not for food" kind of look...  
  
Until Jesse conked him on the head with a plate. Out like a light, and I was on my way out of there!  
  
Until Biker Bob appeared, having telekinetically locked all the doors and windows in the house, and trapped me and Jesse.  
  
Yeah, I wasn't happy. Not in the slightest. And I didn't even have a Jimmy Choo to beat him with! Jesse started rambling in Spanish, probably curses, and I vowed to learn Spanish at all costs, assuming I made it out of there.  
  
Which, several hours later, in ghost form, was obvious I wouldn't. Get out of there, or learn Spanish, I mean.  
  
See, Paul came to a minute later. He ordered Biker Bob to take me to his room, and then called a few other Hell's Angels ghosts to take care of Jesse.  
  
Fresh tears came rushing forth to my eyes as I remembered...Remembered the red smoke, the screams- mostly mine- and Jesse's last words being "I love you, Susannah, mi querida. I'll always be with you, right here." And then pointing to his heart.  
  
I leaped at the portal, determined to bring Jesse back, or shift up there and get him myself, but Biker Bob held me back. I watched helplessly as Paul exorcised my Jesse.  
  
And I hadn't even said it back. He knew, obviously, from my outburst earlier, but I still should have said it! Looking back, I knew I should have said it.  
  
And instead I cried my bloody eyes out, wishing he would wait for me in the Shadowland. Well, I just came from there, and HE WASN'T THERE! That Russell Crowe/gladiator looking guy said he went through a door- even pointed to which one- and said I should go through that one too. That it would lead me to 'true happiness', whatever the hell that is. Well, for me, it would be life with Jesse. But I don't see it happening.  
  
After Jesse was gone, I fell to the floor in hysterical sobs. Paul waved a hand, and Biker Bob dragged me off to Paul's room, where I was thrown- literally- onto his bed and told to 'wait here until Mr. Slater could have a word with me.'  
  
Right. Like I gave a shit what Paul wanted. He wanted me to wait, that's fine. I was only waiting because I couldn't see through my tears well enough to escape.  
  
I pulled out a lighter, one of those cheap ones they give you when you buy cigarettes somewhere, not to smoke, but to flick it on and off. Lately, that's been my thing to calm down. _Flick. See the pretty fire. Flick. See the pretty fire._ On and on until my hand went numb from repeated movement, or until I dropped the flame and almost set my shoes on fire.  
  
This time, with an evil grin, I held the flame to Paul's curtains.  
  
Then watched as his room went up in flames.  
  
With me locked in it.  
  
Haha. Bet you thought that, huh? Well, no! Paul came in while the curtain was on fire. He tried to make me leave, and drag me out, but I slammed him against the bed. I climbed on top and said, in a fake seduction tone, "But Paul, I thought you wanted this?"  
  
"Uh, Suze, believe me, I do, more than anything." Paul said, clearly enjoying the fact that I was straddling him, and missing my fakeness. "But right now, we'd be better off going to a part of the house that wasn't burning to the ground!"  
  
"No." I said forcefully. "You kill my man, I'll kill you. And myself in the process, if it comes down to it."  
  
Those were the last words I ever said to Paul. He dematerialized out of there, but I didn't care. I closed my eyes, curled up into a ball on Paul's bed- not my ideal place to take my last breaths, but it would do- and waited for death to claim me.  
  
Which it did. I assume I died from inhaling all the smoke, since usually that's what kills before the flames do, and then found myself in the Shadowland.  
  
So now, I'm standing over my charred body, noticing little things about myself I'd never really seen before. Like, I had a little cluster of freckles on my right hip in the shape of a star. I looked and saw that my leg muscles were hella toned from all the butt-kicking I do- or rather, did. I noticed that I really did look a hell of a lot like my dad.  
  
But mostly I noticed my eyes. They'd become opened, and I remembered how at the last minute, I'd debated leaving...and had left my eyes opened as death took me away. My eyes showed my emotions, my desire to not leave, to stick it out, and also my desire to leave this hellhole for once and for all. My conflicted emotions, my inner life, everything I hid from the outside world, and some things I hid from myself, all of it was revealed in my eyes.  
  
I reach out with a shaky ghost hand and shut my eyes. Some things were better left hidden.  
  
A swirl of bright lights enveloped me, and I was in the shadowland. Standing directly in front of the door the Gatekeeper had told me to go through.  
  
With shaky hands I opened the door a crack. I heard a voice I thought I'd never hear again.  
  
"Susannah, aren't you coming?"  
  
Of course I'm coming! I took a step forward, and fell into Jesse's arms. He cradled me as if I were something needing protection, and kissed me deeper than we'd ever kissed before. The purest, gentlest, fieriest, most passionate kiss we'd ever shared.  
  
This is my true happiness. Spending eternity with Jesse.

There, a little something something for my Jesse/Suze lovers. I had a one shot for my Paul/Suze lovers, so here's this one for the rest!


End file.
